Well I’d like to take this time to happily report that Justonematt.com is a massive success! Already we have reached a massive readership of three members. I’d say that’s a pretty impressive number. I imagine it’ll be nothing compared to how many members we’ll have a few days from now. It’s going to get all crazy up in this blog. (did I say that right?)

Is that optimistic enough for you? To be honest I’m not really an optimist; I’m an engineer. I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying, the glass is half empty, half full, the vessel is twice as large as it needs to be. You know… optimist, pessimist, or engineer.

The way I’m looking at this, is I have few members, so my chances of offending someone is pretty slim, but my chances of getting a good message out is also slim. So I’m in a bit of a bind. I suppose I shall hold off on the truly insane viewpoints I hold until I can be sure I can offend and inspire someone.

So until then I guess I need to do some filler. Well let me think… I suppose you could hear more about me. I bet you didn’t know I have a hedgehog. Now you may find that odd, but I must say that clearly the hedgehog is one of the most metal animals out there. Think about it… it has freakin spikes coming out of its back! That’s awesome! Also hedgehogs are great for picking up girls. One day I was taking my hedgehog for a walk so it could stay in shape (it’s pretty huge), and this fine looking thing comes up to me and is all like “oh em gee!!!! is that like yours?” Well I got so damned annoyed that I sicked the hedgehog right on her. It incappacitated her so fast with a quick hit to the temple that I barely even knew what happened.

…then I nailed her

approx 70% of the above is true…
i.e. the hedgehog actually went out for a run, not a walk

Posted on April 2